Monday, May 02, 2005

confused!

Oh my God...
It's almost over...
I've been in school my whole life, since I was 3.5 years old, and never stopped doing it since! But now, in two weeks, all of that will be over (well, unless I continue with grad school). I've been wishing to stop going to school since forever, but...now, I hesitated to let go. I don't know, I feel quite nervous right now, I am afraid of what's ahead of me.
Once the school's done, all the certainty and regularity that it offers will go away with it. Call me drama queen but I don't care, it's what I think and I'll just go ahead and talk about it ;p
No really, when you think about it, no matter how awful you think school is, even though school is overwhelming at times, it provides certainty, and comfort in a way..You just know what lies ahead of you. After you're done with elementary school, you know you'll go on to high school, and then supposedly college (I'm generalizing here I know, sorry about that, hehe..). In school you know what you're supposed to do, and how to do it.
Now, when school's done..now what? What if I can't get a decent job? Or any job at all? What if I'm still alone even ten years from now? What am I suppose to do? Live with my parents until I'm old or sumthin'? Dang...no no noo, poor them! hehehe..
Well, all I know for sure now is that I want to go back home. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or not in 5 years, but I'll go home someday.