Sapi's thoughts

For those who sleep with tears in their eyes
I understand your sorrow. I understand your tears
yes, this world is confusing
and yes, to be in a maze is dangerous
and lonely

For those who sleep with tears in their eyes
I understand your sorrow. I understand your tears
yes, the world fail to be your comfort
and yes, you have no choice but to be happy to live in it
you have the need to be happy in it
you have the control of your own happiness

But if we can control happiness
why do we still sleep with tears in our eyes?
If we have the power to control happiness
if happiness is the result of our own deeds and views
should we even like each other?
if we start to like people, wouldn't it means that we are giving up our control?

For those who sleep with tears in their eyes
does like means companionship?
does companionship means hope?
does hope means expectations?
do expectations mean disappointment?

But if to like people will eventually becomes disappointment
should we even be human?

For those who sleep with tears in their eyes
we still need each other
to deny it is stupid
and lonely

We still need love
and we still have love to give
we need to stop the tears
we need to stop the loneliness

For those who sleep with tears in their eyes
now we understand how to make ourselver happy

For those who sleep with smile in their faces
please tell us then
why do we still sleep with tears in our eyes?

-Amanda 1/27/05 2:15 am-

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 2:05:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking. Take my hand, and show me where we're going. Lie down next to me, look into my eyes. And tell me what you're seeing.
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling. What you feel now is how I feel for you.
Take my hand, and if I'm lying to you. I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you.
See my eyes, they carry your reflection. Watch my lips, and hear the word I'm telling you. Give your trust to me and look into my heart. And show me what you're doing.
Take your time, if I'm lying to you. I know you'll find that you believe me.
You believe me.
Feel the sun on your face and tell me what you're thinking. Catch the snow on your tongue and show me how it tastes.
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone. If I'm lying to you.
Take your time, if I'm lying to you. I know you'll find that you believe me.

-Dido- (Tapi kompak sama apa yg gue maksud dan apa yg gue pengen lo tau. See that?)

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 8:48:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

*yawn
Baru pulang dr Books A Million, baca2 majalah for free, couchnya comfie lagi. Hehehe..I should've started on my assignment euy...tdnya sih udah bawa2 buku pelajaran, tapi ya..mo digimanain lagi...namanya juga toko buku, there're a million books yg lebih interesting dr text book gue.
Hari ini mbak Hani back from Indo, so happy! hehehe. Kangen juga sama Jibran, tapi hari ini belom berani deket2 kasian ntar nangis. Gile tadi Jibby mukanya asli teler abis. Poor baby, klo gue jadi dia gue juga pasti crankylah..mana dingin pula disini! Di Indo kan panas, jadinya ganti2 cuaca gitu deh.
Dooh...udah seminggu gue ga bisa2 tidur niiih! Masa average jam tidur gue tu berkisar antara jam 3-5 am. Adoo...muka gue ancur2an nih ntar. Mata merah, terus those circles under my eyes, pasti item deh, hehehe..Jadi malu ama Fari, soalnya biasanya gue yg dulu suka agak2 ribut ttg waktu tidurnya dia, hehehehe.
*yawn
Oh well...laper ni..pengen cari cemilan, hehehe.

luv

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 8:05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

Tadi abis dr partynya Cochie di apartemennya di Meadows. Happy birthday Cochie! Had a great time at your party! Hehehe...
Sekarang udah jm 1 malem and gue belom bisa bobo, padahal udh capek and ngantuk juga. Akhir2 ini rada2 insomnia neh, kemaren aja baru bisa tidur pas jam 5 pagi and bangun jam 11. Seems like tonight would be like that as well.
2 minggu lagi bakal ada party lagi di tempatnya Tina. Looking forward too, trus mo nonton film serem pula, hehehehe.
Tadi juga liat engagement ringnya ci Lia. eh..engagement apa wedding ring yah itu? Klo marriednya belom, masih disebut engagement ring ya? Trus klo buat yg tuker cincin, cincin yg dipake masih yg sama apa beli lagi yg laen..? Klo gitu berarti cincinnya sama, cuma ganti nama aja dr engagement ring ke wedding ring? Eleuh lieur ya..
Semester akhir ini...agak2 aneh gitu deh rasanya, bad feeling gitu. Kayaknya gue deg2an terus, kayak selalu ada yg hrs dicek, tanggal2 ngumpulin tugas, cara2 bikin tugasnya gimana, dll. Apalagi kelas Strategic Management gue, udh bikin gue nervous gitu. Apa ini gara2 sugesti aja ya? Abinya sebelom gue mulai kelasnya pun, udah ada bbrp temen yg kayanya agak2..gimana yah..afraid for me?(hihihi)for takin the class with Julius Johnson. Even though I had some friends that comforted me as well, but the idea of the professor being mean is already stuck in my head. And the fact that I couldn't understand a single word that he's saying makes it worse. I wish he could just start talking in English and stop saying jargons...! Udah gitu, kelasnya tu digabungin sama graduate students, and they seemed to understand what he's saying...hff...feeling a wee bit intimidated didn't help either. Hehehehe...
Anyway...anyhow..mo start baca novel lagi ah. Novel yg sekarang bkal gue baca judulnya: Nanny in Hiding. hehe..Gue kemaren malem nyelesein satu buku yg gue temuin waktu gue shelf reading di library yg nyeritain detail tentang tenggelamnya Titanic. Judulnya the Titanic-the End of A Dream. The reports gave an eerie chill when I read it last night. I just wish the 1600 victims of the "unsinkable ship" could rest in piece.

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 1:48:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Huwaa....kekenyangan nih...! Abis makan di Family Buffet ama keluarga, makan udang sama salmon bakar banyak2. Yumm....
Lagi mo ke Mills nih mo nonton, Ucrit ga dateng2 kemana sii...lama deh ;p
Kemaren malem gue ama Ucrit ke MSC ada Greek Lecture gitu. Kali ini mereka ngedatengin writer namanya Thea Halo, judul bukunya "Not Even My Name". Itu bukunya nyeritain kehidupan ibunya waktu jaman genocidenya orang2 Turki dulu thdp orang2 Greek. I was about to buy that book disitu, but I don't have any cash with me. Pas pulang, cari2 bukunya di Half, just as I thought, disitu murah bgt. Yg usednya ada yg cuma $1 an gitu. But then again, gue penasaran, trus gue cek di website librarynya UMSL. Ternyata Pius librarynya SLU ama librarynya Washu punya buku itu, jd gue request aja, minta anterin ke library UMSL. Convenient, and free. Loving the library system so much! Ditambah lagi gue juga request 3 novel Sydney Sheldon yg ada di library mana..gitu. Lupa gue, kayanya sih di Kansas City deh. Sama, tinggal minta anterin ke library UMSL. Again, convenient and free! hehehehe. Well, we paid good money to go to school, might as well use it as much as possible, ya gak? hehehe. This is my first time requesting books dr library gitu. If all goes well, I'll use it more often for sure.
2 hari yg lalu gue dapet sms dr Austin. Seneng juga, akhirnya bisa sms-an. Tadinya ga bisa gitu dunno why. Udah gitu semingguan yg lalu juga gue ketemu temen lama, kenal dr SD, akhirnya ngobrol be3: Wudhi, Keke, ama Isti. Kangen juga euy udah lama ga ketemu. Di Indo aja kita udah mencar abisnya pada pindah2 kota gitu, eh...ketemunya malah dr Friendster. Hidup Friendster!
Duu..uh Ucrit mana sihh? Kemaleman niiih!

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 3:43:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hi all....gawd...it's been ages since the last time I really tell stories about me...(hehehe...pedee pede..as if people'd want to know anyway ;p)
Anyway, just for my piece of mind, I'll just go ahead. ;p
Lately, I've been feeling...well..it's hard to describe...i'll try to give an example to make it clear. It's like you're stuck in a swamp with a snake choking your neck. You're upset, but you don't care enough to do something. As long as you can still drag that snake everywhere you go and you still alive, you just let it be. It's kind of an important situation, but you just don't care.
Is that clear enough explanation? hehehe
Yah, today, I decided to do something about that snake. The result...I don't know, I'm not sure. It's like the snake stopped choking my neck, but now it wrapped my hands tightly (cape deh...:p hehehe), meaning I can't do anything about it anymore. It's all in the hands of the snake, will it ever let go only God knows..
Duuh..I'm having a canker sore in my tongue...I couldn't speak since yesterday...! It hurts so bad whenever I tried to move my tongue, let alone speak. Unfortuately, some people see this as an opportunity. One of my co-worker seems to have developed an ability to annoy me more than usual by teasing me since he knew I wouldn't be able to say anything back to him! Tck tck...revenge will be sweet, dude! Harharharhar (evil laugh) hehehe
Man...this semester will be hard. My last semester at UMSL...*sigh
I'm excited yet nervous. Will I be able to find a job soon enough? ah we'll see lah.
I'm also doing an independent study. The job is to be a marketing consultant for the honors college, on how to market it to international students. First thing that came to my mind...actually start to market it to international student! d'oh...they can make one of the session in the orientation for foreign students an introduction to honors college. Oh well...I guess that's why they need a marketing consultant anyway ;p

Posted by Amanda Supriadi at 11:21:00 PM | Permalink | Comments